The best thing to do would be to do nothing, but the difficulty level of this is high. It involves sitting still and breathing. He plans to stop breathing, even tries it for a moment, but the life in him is stronger. With greedy reluctantly, he gasps for breath. There is no other option than to live on. The idea that everything comes to an end once gives Nico some comfort.
Easily said, doing nothing is difficult. Sitting motionless is just about possible, but how do you stop your thoughts? They keep on chasing each other in his head. They evade Nicos will, which never has been very powerful. His willpower muscles are too weak, as evidenced when he was been taken care of by a mental coach for a while.
Sitting motionless tends to be very exhausting in the long run. Mopish, he obliges himself to go for a walk. Outside into the sun, bent down under his rain provoking umbrella. He has barely started his walk as he runs into an acquaintance. `So, Nico, gone for a healthy walk, have you? But why the umbrella? '
He only
just prevents himself from spitting the acquaintance in the face. Which brings some obnoxious satisfaction about himself.
When he gets back home, he finds strength to sit motionless again. From his most uncomfortable chair he overlooks his little world. He feels happy and that is bad enough already.
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