That's not true, but I thoroughly do my best to believe it.
I draw a circle around the Dr. Oetker lasagna dishes and watch Daniel slurp his last spoonfull of soup into his mouth. Something with the love of a man and a stomach, they say. With him, I wonder whether he eats so fast because he likes it or because he wants to start on the main course. "That was nice, hunnybun," he says smiling and he puts his bowl on my kitchen counter. He grabs me by the shoulders and lets his hands slip down to my breasts. I put down my pen and print, thinking that I must not forget to mark the clams later. And I especially have to continue to think of clams.
He leads me to the bedroom and pulls my dress over my head. Before he takes off his clothes, he looks at the clock briefly. I resist my orgasm for as long as possible and he is trying his best more and more. I concentrate on his presence, not necessarily his skills. His panting breath and smell make me happy. His hands and lips and other body parts everywhere and nowhere scare me. It should not go too fast, but he's too good.
Even reciting my shopping list is doesn't work. Even the thought of a leek makes me get dirty feelings and I feel an orgasm overwhelming me. He is not done yet and that's fine, it means he will be a with me a bit longer and I get my second orgasm for free. This time I do not try to resist against it as I would not succeed. When he reaches his climax, I think of how much we have in common. A lot, but not everything.
He kisses me and just like the soup he says it was nice. He walks away and into the bathroom, I hear water flowing. With closed eyes, I wait until he comes back and I try to pick up his scent from my blankets. Sitting on my bed, he gets dressed and I look at his back. He looks at the clock as he kisses me 'till next time " he says and leaves.
The agreement was to stop at the moment that one of us would fall in love. Because it had to be fun, no strings attached. When I noticed that it had happened, stopping was no longer an option. The confusion it evoked in me was like a rear-end collision. Not that i was madly in love with him, I just had become attached to him just as you became attached to the hamster you had in your youth.
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